from 6/10/08
In saying goodbye to my kids as they go off to school, I say to the boy, “I’ll see you at your class picnic today. Remember your Dad can’t make it today.”
He replies with an “ok”, but Mama is picking up on a sadness/disappointment under that. That’s not the way to begin your day. So I respond with, “And you know what that means don’t you?”
Intrigued, he says, “What?”
“We’ll have to talk about him since he’s not there. Let’s start a rumor about your dad!” Now I’ve caught my daughter’s attention, she’s now listening with a smile.
“Let’s tell EVERYONE Daddy has a third nipple!” I gleefully add.
The girl giggles. My son says “You are so weird.” But he’s smiling. I can tell the mood is lifting. Just one more thing, then my motherly duty will be completed...
“We’ll tell people its on his chin and that’s why he has a beard. To cover it.” Both children burst out laughing.
Now they may go to school
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Interpreting Ancient/Historical Writings in Modern Times
from 6/13/08
I'm very fond of some Hindu scripture that basically declares that there is no ONE way to God. "People follow different paths, straight or crooked, according to their temperament, depending on which they consider best, or most appropriate—and all reach You {God}, just as rivers reach the ocean."
This is something I not only believe but have taught my children.
What truly fascinates me lately... India is where Hinduism was born. But so was the caste system. I'd like some day to understand how that was possible that both of these cultural and religious beliefs were practiced.
I wonder if its like our founding fathers... they wrote "all men were created equal" yet owned slaves. Women were also considered property. The title "man" wasn't used to mean all human beings. "Men" only applied to white Christians males of European descent.
Or did they really mean "human beings" but realized that the culture of that day couldn't evolve that much that soon. But those men who wrote that document knew society would continue on the path of enlightenment.
I'm very fond of some Hindu scripture that basically declares that there is no ONE way to God. "People follow different paths, straight or crooked, according to their temperament, depending on which they consider best, or most appropriate—and all reach You {God}, just as rivers reach the ocean."
This is something I not only believe but have taught my children.
What truly fascinates me lately... India is where Hinduism was born. But so was the caste system. I'd like some day to understand how that was possible that both of these cultural and religious beliefs were practiced.
I wonder if its like our founding fathers... they wrote "all men were created equal" yet owned slaves. Women were also considered property. The title "man" wasn't used to mean all human beings. "Men" only applied to white Christians males of European descent.
Or did they really mean "human beings" but realized that the culture of that day couldn't evolve that much that soon. But those men who wrote that document knew society would continue on the path of enlightenment.
Dying in Your Dreams
from 6/4/08
I've never even come close to dying in any dream I can remember. Have had my fair share of being chased by monsters but they never caught me.
Until this morning! In my dream, I was sitting in out door cafe downtown with a good friend. We were chatting about this and that. From where we sat, I could see far off in the distance something weird going on with clouds. I realized it was a "mushroom cloud" from a bomb dropping.
I realized we were under attack and my mind started to race... just then I heard a loud boom and it get so bright I couldn't see anything. It flashed in my mind, this is it, I am going to die here.
I felt my friend throw himself on top of me. It felt really hot then I started to get really cold... and I thought to myself, "I'm dying. Where are my kids? I didn't get to say goodbye" And I could feel myself "leaving" and was filled with such sadness.
Then like an alarm... my brain said: "This is a dream. WAKE UP!"
And there I was in my bed... with the dog laying next to me with a bit of concern in her eyes.
I've never even come close to dying in any dream I can remember. Have had my fair share of being chased by monsters but they never caught me.
Until this morning! In my dream, I was sitting in out door cafe downtown with a good friend. We were chatting about this and that. From where we sat, I could see far off in the distance something weird going on with clouds. I realized it was a "mushroom cloud" from a bomb dropping.
I realized we were under attack and my mind started to race... just then I heard a loud boom and it get so bright I couldn't see anything. It flashed in my mind, this is it, I am going to die here.
I felt my friend throw himself on top of me. It felt really hot then I started to get really cold... and I thought to myself, "I'm dying. Where are my kids? I didn't get to say goodbye" And I could feel myself "leaving" and was filled with such sadness.
Then like an alarm... my brain said: "This is a dream. WAKE UP!"
And there I was in my bed... with the dog laying next to me with a bit of concern in her eyes.
Staying in the Moment
From 6/1/08
Corita Kent once said “Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.”
Like a lot of people, this is not something comes to me naturally at all. Its only possible for me if I’m completely engrossed in a task or activity at hand. Otherwise, my “monkey mind” is control. This is how Buddhists describe thoughts that wildly swing from branch to vine to branch and so on. Only stopping to howl, eat, scratch, etc.
I’m either focused on a memory or anticipating something in the future. Which isn’t a bad thing per se. Its quite pleasant to experience a joy from the past or be excited about something to come. There is always a lesson to learned from past sadness, fear or anger. And sometimes a negative anticipation can move you to change directions.
But when you keep your mind focused on the here and now, it brings you peace and resolve, even in a very sad or scary moment. And if it is a wonderful moment, there is a different kind of joy. Many claim this is when you are closest to God (or whatever you call your higher power) or most able to hear you own inner voice of wisdom.
As I said, this ability is something I rarely do unconsciously. Its something I have to seek and practice. My most common attempt at practicing this is when I go for a walk or jog. And even then its so hard! Things pop into my mind and I’m of and running mentally.
Ever once in awhile, I do manage to pull it off without trying, even if for just a few moments. And the power of those moments do take my breath away.
The other day I took the kids and the dog down to the neighborhood creek. Its a creek that is in a county watershed and eventually dumps into the Potomac River. Now is the time of the year that it truly feels like you’ve stepped into another world. The foliage hides the presence of the houses that are sometimes 100 yards away. Because of the spring rains, the flowing water combined with the singing birds drowns out the sounds of traffic from nearby roads. Rabbits, and even deer at times will be along the path or nearby woods.
They had wanted to explore a certain area of the creek itself so I sat on the bank while the kids waded. From where I sat I could smell nearby honeysuckle as the wind moved that scent through the trees. The sun was still high in the sky so it created such an interesting display of shadow and light on the water, making it sparkle in places as it rushed over the rocks. A few blossoms from a bush had been set free by the wind and they were slowly falling towards the water, where upon landing they’d rush off. A short distance away, I could see my kids sunlit heads turned towards something that was commanding their attention. I could hear wind whizzing through the trees.
I sat there basking in waves of pure contentment. Until I heard a lawn mower in the distance which made me think my lawn. Specifically where the part that was bare due to a beloved willow tree being removed. My mind started again wondering if the “tree guy” who had been hired to cut down some dead branches for $300 had really been telling the truth that the entire tree was dying. Had he really been motivated by helping us avoid spending $300 unnecessarily that day as that tree was going to need to be removed very soon which would cost $950. Or was it really he wanted the $950 instead of $300?
In the blink of an eye, I had left the joy of being in the moment and was living in a place of being suspicious and feeling a bit like a fool for not insisting we get another opinion. And regret because I miss that tree that was outside my kitchen window.
Monkey mind had taken over again.
Corita Kent once said “Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.”
Like a lot of people, this is not something comes to me naturally at all. Its only possible for me if I’m completely engrossed in a task or activity at hand. Otherwise, my “monkey mind” is control. This is how Buddhists describe thoughts that wildly swing from branch to vine to branch and so on. Only stopping to howl, eat, scratch, etc.
I’m either focused on a memory or anticipating something in the future. Which isn’t a bad thing per se. Its quite pleasant to experience a joy from the past or be excited about something to come. There is always a lesson to learned from past sadness, fear or anger. And sometimes a negative anticipation can move you to change directions.
But when you keep your mind focused on the here and now, it brings you peace and resolve, even in a very sad or scary moment. And if it is a wonderful moment, there is a different kind of joy. Many claim this is when you are closest to God (or whatever you call your higher power) or most able to hear you own inner voice of wisdom.
As I said, this ability is something I rarely do unconsciously. Its something I have to seek and practice. My most common attempt at practicing this is when I go for a walk or jog. And even then its so hard! Things pop into my mind and I’m of and running mentally.
Ever once in awhile, I do manage to pull it off without trying, even if for just a few moments. And the power of those moments do take my breath away.
The other day I took the kids and the dog down to the neighborhood creek. Its a creek that is in a county watershed and eventually dumps into the Potomac River. Now is the time of the year that it truly feels like you’ve stepped into another world. The foliage hides the presence of the houses that are sometimes 100 yards away. Because of the spring rains, the flowing water combined with the singing birds drowns out the sounds of traffic from nearby roads. Rabbits, and even deer at times will be along the path or nearby woods.
They had wanted to explore a certain area of the creek itself so I sat on the bank while the kids waded. From where I sat I could smell nearby honeysuckle as the wind moved that scent through the trees. The sun was still high in the sky so it created such an interesting display of shadow and light on the water, making it sparkle in places as it rushed over the rocks. A few blossoms from a bush had been set free by the wind and they were slowly falling towards the water, where upon landing they’d rush off. A short distance away, I could see my kids sunlit heads turned towards something that was commanding their attention. I could hear wind whizzing through the trees.
I sat there basking in waves of pure contentment. Until I heard a lawn mower in the distance which made me think my lawn. Specifically where the part that was bare due to a beloved willow tree being removed. My mind started again wondering if the “tree guy” who had been hired to cut down some dead branches for $300 had really been telling the truth that the entire tree was dying. Had he really been motivated by helping us avoid spending $300 unnecessarily that day as that tree was going to need to be removed very soon which would cost $950. Or was it really he wanted the $950 instead of $300?
In the blink of an eye, I had left the joy of being in the moment and was living in a place of being suspicious and feeling a bit like a fool for not insisting we get another opinion. And regret because I miss that tree that was outside my kitchen window.
Monkey mind had taken over again.
Daddy's Voice
from 5/27/08
I added to my iTunes/iPod playlist some old Randy Travis songs. I’m not really a big country music fan at all. It wasn’t until I moved to upstate New York for school, where I was both so very lonely for my daddy and Texas that I “discovered” Mr. Travis. That music made me feel not quite so adrift.
Eventually I got a best girlfriend and had her hooked too. I remember driving back from a quasi-hip night club with her late at night with songs like “Its Just a Matter of Time” blaring on the stereo. We’d be singing at the top of our lungs. It was such different music we’d just left... I personally enjoyed the dichotomy of those evenings.
Eagerly this morning I played my newest additions as I started my day. Nearly 20 years later, I still know all the words. And I still smiled as I heard “Is It Still Over.”
For sure I still think of my daddy. Not just that my father was a big country music fan but in Randy’s depth of voice and the “twang”. A big thing also is the lyrics... Several of the songs use the exact same phrasing Daddy uses as well as self-depreciating humor. I hadn’t realized until just now how very much I am reminded of Daddy by this music.
Then it hit me... His voice and words also reminded me of another man back home. The man who I consider to be one of the greatest love of my life. I never had realized just how similar he and Daddy’s speech patterns were! They are also the two men that have loved me passionately for who I am.
It made me wonder... Is one of the reasons I fell in love first with Randy Travis then later with the man I mention above... Is it because of how I always felt being around my daddy? Loved and accepted for me?
I added to my iTunes/iPod playlist some old Randy Travis songs. I’m not really a big country music fan at all. It wasn’t until I moved to upstate New York for school, where I was both so very lonely for my daddy and Texas that I “discovered” Mr. Travis. That music made me feel not quite so adrift.
Eventually I got a best girlfriend and had her hooked too. I remember driving back from a quasi-hip night club with her late at night with songs like “Its Just a Matter of Time” blaring on the stereo. We’d be singing at the top of our lungs. It was such different music we’d just left... I personally enjoyed the dichotomy of those evenings.
Eagerly this morning I played my newest additions as I started my day. Nearly 20 years later, I still know all the words. And I still smiled as I heard “Is It Still Over.”
For sure I still think of my daddy. Not just that my father was a big country music fan but in Randy’s depth of voice and the “twang”. A big thing also is the lyrics... Several of the songs use the exact same phrasing Daddy uses as well as self-depreciating humor. I hadn’t realized until just now how very much I am reminded of Daddy by this music.
Then it hit me... His voice and words also reminded me of another man back home. The man who I consider to be one of the greatest love of my life. I never had realized just how similar he and Daddy’s speech patterns were! They are also the two men that have loved me passionately for who I am.
It made me wonder... Is one of the reasons I fell in love first with Randy Travis then later with the man I mention above... Is it because of how I always felt being around my daddy? Loved and accepted for me?
Small Changes, Big Differences
from 5/17/08
It hit home to me a long ago that in life, every little change to your lifestyle does make a difference in the end.
I decided nearly a month ago that I wanted to make some little changes. One was I was no longer going to drive the 5 minute drive to my local shopping center that I make sometimes once or even twice a day during spring, summer and fall.
This center is not only home to my grocery store but my bank, pet store (we’ve got dog, cats, fish AND lizards) dry cleaner, hardware store, and... eyeglass (I lose and/or break my glasses constantly!). Also in this center is wonderful little Japanese restaurant that serves great sushi (my son and I adore that) but also great little Italian place that makes the yummiest white pizza. There’s a Chinese place both my kids get excited to go to. (Me not so much as its that greasy fried version of Chinese food.) Other often requested treats are Starbucks and Baskin Robbins. So you can see why I’m constantly at this little hub of commercial action.
Its a rather pleasant 20 minute round trip stroll made even more enjoyable with my personal soundtrack accompanying me in the form of my iPod. I was also dropping my gym membership because I figured out that I was spending 30 minutes behind the wheel door to door to my gym in order where I would spend 30 minutes on some sort of aerobic machine 4 times a week. Duh.
In less time and making a less negative impact on the environment... I could get the same aerobic workout each week overall. Plus, I save money on the pricey gym membership (I had a really nice one.. $125 per month!) and on gas too. Also greatly decreased my impulse buying because if I can only buy what will fit into the two canvas shopping bags I have. Nice side benefit is that I no longer have the 10 little blue plastic bags coming into the house each week, too.
Of course, because I love to cook and I’m more spontaneous by nature, shopping for ingredients for meals every day or so makes this new change far from a sacrifice. This kind of change is also aided by the fact that I own my own business and therefore "own" all of my hours. I make the schedule and work mostly from a home office these days.
I had calculated the amount of money/time I’d save by making this change but had not calculated how significantly it impacted my general mood on a daily basis.
Swinging my shopping bags while bee-bopping to the music... Observing the changes in the landscape along the way (I’m a gardener too)... Thinking about what I want to cook... Smiling and chatting with various people along the way (at the gym, its Serious Work Out Time, you don’t “chat”)... I realized that puts me in a happy mindset every time. Even in the rain it is good for me.
Yep, small changes can make a world of difference.
It hit home to me a long ago that in life, every little change to your lifestyle does make a difference in the end.
I decided nearly a month ago that I wanted to make some little changes. One was I was no longer going to drive the 5 minute drive to my local shopping center that I make sometimes once or even twice a day during spring, summer and fall.
This center is not only home to my grocery store but my bank, pet store (we’ve got dog, cats, fish AND lizards) dry cleaner, hardware store, and... eyeglass (I lose and/or break my glasses constantly!). Also in this center is wonderful little Japanese restaurant that serves great sushi (my son and I adore that) but also great little Italian place that makes the yummiest white pizza. There’s a Chinese place both my kids get excited to go to. (Me not so much as its that greasy fried version of Chinese food.) Other often requested treats are Starbucks and Baskin Robbins. So you can see why I’m constantly at this little hub of commercial action.
Its a rather pleasant 20 minute round trip stroll made even more enjoyable with my personal soundtrack accompanying me in the form of my iPod. I was also dropping my gym membership because I figured out that I was spending 30 minutes behind the wheel door to door to my gym in order where I would spend 30 minutes on some sort of aerobic machine 4 times a week. Duh.
In less time and making a less negative impact on the environment... I could get the same aerobic workout each week overall. Plus, I save money on the pricey gym membership (I had a really nice one.. $125 per month!) and on gas too. Also greatly decreased my impulse buying because if I can only buy what will fit into the two canvas shopping bags I have. Nice side benefit is that I no longer have the 10 little blue plastic bags coming into the house each week, too.
Of course, because I love to cook and I’m more spontaneous by nature, shopping for ingredients for meals every day or so makes this new change far from a sacrifice. This kind of change is also aided by the fact that I own my own business and therefore "own" all of my hours. I make the schedule and work mostly from a home office these days.
I had calculated the amount of money/time I’d save by making this change but had not calculated how significantly it impacted my general mood on a daily basis.
Swinging my shopping bags while bee-bopping to the music... Observing the changes in the landscape along the way (I’m a gardener too)... Thinking about what I want to cook... Smiling and chatting with various people along the way (at the gym, its Serious Work Out Time, you don’t “chat”)... I realized that puts me in a happy mindset every time. Even in the rain it is good for me.
Yep, small changes can make a world of difference.
My Son's Mother's Day Poem
Mother's Day 2008
My Mom
Mom gives me care,
Mom gives me love.
Mom understands me,
Like nobody else.
Mom will forgive me
Mom is nice.
I LOVE MOM!!!!!
Then my brilliant 8 year old tried his hand at both a haiku and an acrostic:
Mom ROCKS!!
Outstanding!!!
Mom is fun!!
My Mom
Mom gives me care,
Mom gives me love.
Mom understands me,
Like nobody else.
Mom will forgive me
Mom is nice.
I LOVE MOM!!!!!
Then my brilliant 8 year old tried his hand at both a haiku and an acrostic:
Mom ROCKS!!
Outstanding!!!
Mom is fun!!
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