Happily Ever After

Last spring, I read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Many friends had recommended it as this book outlined one woman’s passion for dining, spiritual growth and romantic love. Three topics near and dear to my own heart.

I devoured the “Eat” section and focused my culinary pursuits in the direction of Italy.

I sighed through the “Love” section, making all sorts of personal wishes.

But it was so hard to get through the “Pray” section, despite my love of Eastern philosophy and religions.

Ironically, it is a quote from that tedious section that has stuck with me, a year later. The main character was lamenting the loss of a lover from her life. She was convinced he was The One. Her soul mate. Another character’s response startled me. He said:

"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. "

This made me reassess just what a “soul mate” truly was. And if this character was correct, it made me sad to recognize that your soul mate isn’t supposed to be a life partner. You experience both the giddy high of finding him... Then the profound low of losing him.

Indeed, this is the total opposite of what we learn growing up. The happily ever after doesn’t result in marching off into the sunset with The One.

It happens when you march off alone.

Macabre Coincidence

Feb 2009

It was another unusually warm and blustery day yesterday. While out walking, I realized the nearby airport must have changed the approach patterns because of the wind. Planes were now roaring over my neighborhood. I could see landing-gear dropping at times.

Which, being the lover of “something new” that I am… I actually enjoyed as I got out and about throughout the day. As my weird brain is apt to do, I started wondering where a pilot would try to put his plane down should it malfunction during take-off or landing. Could it avoid the houses? It is a pretty densely populated area.

Every single time I beat the pavement somewhere, which was several times yesterday, a fragment of that pondering popped into my head. I found myself wondering who else was considering this thought today.

This morning, the very first news headline I see: “Fiery Plane Crash in Upstate New York Kills 49 People.”

Apparently, a plane crashed into house last night. Nothing to do with winds or anything, it was ice on the wings and fog. But still. How creepy is that?

Oh. And may the 49 people who lost their lives rest in peace. My heart goes out to all their loved ones. No matter how intrigued I am by this coincidence, I can't imagine what they are going through at this moment.

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown

Out of all the Charlie Brown Holiday Specials, "Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown" has always been the one that touched me the most.

Yes, I felt for Linus in his steadfast belief in the Great Pumpkin and that pitiful little Christmas tree. But nothing beat the watching of Charlie Brown's expectations build, then crash to the ground.

If you recall, no one gives him a single valentine of Valentine's Day. During the class party, somehow, every classmate forgot him. None of his friends send one to his home. You'd think Peppermint Patty would have remembered.

He is so disappointed. It breaks my heart every single time. The next day, some girls feel guilty and offer a used valentine. Schroeder berates them for being too late.

When Charlie Brown gladly accepts their guilt-motivated offering... I feel even sadder. To this day, I wish I was his friend. I would have cut out a big red heart out of construction paper and pasted in on white lace paper doily. Spelled out in glue and glitter: "Be My Valentine". Below that, a row of x's and o's.

Bird Poop in Produce

Jan

Whenever I need a winter pick-me-up, I head to Whole Foods. The store I go to is a mega-store style. They have a wine bar, and a sushi, BBQ, and gelato “bar” where everything was prepared on-site on top of an extensive bakery and seafood section.

But it is their big floral and produce department that draws me this time of year. All the bright colors and fresh scents dazzle my senses. Yes, many of those products are overpriced* but I’m paying for the experience. Plus, if I time it right, the entire store has enough samples scattered throughout that I can make a meal out of it. It always brightens my day to pay a visit.

However, I may have ruined the experience for young mother. She had her lovely toddler daughter in the front of the carriage with fresh fruits and vegetables, all organic I’m sure, piled up in the back. We were both waiting for a sample of freshly squeezed pineapple juice.

That’s when I heard the birds singing. I took my earphones out to listen. I asked her if she heard it too. She smiled widely and pointed to a pair of birds singing on the exposed ceiling rafters that seem to be all the interior design rage of many stores and restaurants these days. And she said to her adorable daughter, “see the birdies honey?”

Now. What would come to your mind about having birds in a grocery store?

If you were like me, you’d wonder how on earth they keep the bird droppings off the food!

So I mused about this out loud and the woman’s face fell. She looked at her basket of goodies with grave concern. I tried to make her feel better by saying birds and all sorts of wildlife had access when it was growing. That’s why we wash it.

She didn’t seem to cheer up at that fact; instead, I may have ruined her experience with a dose of unwelcome reality.

*Did you know that a 1,000 calories of pure junk food costs $1.76 whereas a 1,000 calories that are nutrient dense, organic, etc can cost $18.16? No wonder “the rich can never be too thin!”

Picture Perfect Snow

Jan 09

We got a few inches of snow today, the first real accumulation this winter. While I shoveled the sidewalks and driveway, the kids did what kids do in this stuff. Pure joy for them. The cold and wet doesn't bother them. Which will always mystify me as I didn't grow up with the stuff. At most, we'd get an inch of the stuff once in a blue moon... which would be melted by noon.

But given my kids' reaction to it, it must be great fun.

As I stood at the end of my driveway, surveying the neighborhood, I noticed all the lawns that had multiple paths of foot prints looping throughout their yard. Those are the homes with children. Then there were the homes that had no foot prints, looking like a perfect holiday card picture.

I'm so grateful for my not so pretty snow covered lawn. And I will be sad the day that it does stay picture perfect.

Book Recommendation

Jan 2009

I devoured Wally Lamb's latest: The First Hour I Believed on vacation.

The main character is a middle-aged man, who after reconciling with his wife, they start over in Littleton, Colorado. He teaches and she is the school nurse at Columbine High School. The story evolves to the idea of the victims of other victims. He also begins a personal quest for meaning and faith. As the book jacket states, it becomes a "mythic journey."

If you have any interest in the work of Joseph Campbell or Viktor Frankle... the various themes explored in this novel will be quite enjoyable. And if you weren't familiar with those writers, after reading this novel, check them out.

It was also intriguing how he intertwined the actual events and people of the Columbine tragedy. And the story about his great grandmother was almost as arresting as his.

In the Blink of an Eye

Jan 2009

On my very, very messy desk sits one of my favorite photos. It was snapped on my four-year-old daughter’s first day of pre-school as we arrived by the teacher. I’m behind her, bent down so my face is on same level with hers, with my right arm around her middle. My other hand holds the hand of her two-year-old brother.

She and I are grinning, complete with our matching dimples. She is wearing this pretty little blue dress covered in flowers with white socks folded at ankles. It’s the proud smile and twinkle in her eye that I adore. My little extrovert was just starting to emerge. She was so excited to meet new friends.

My son, well, he clearly doesn’t know what to make of all of this. His huge blue eyes look into the camera. He’s not scared but I can see a little apprehension. He is also clutching this cardboard book about a fire engine that he loved. I’d read that book to him several times a day and it went everywhere with him for a few months. He’s nervous, but between holding me and that book, he’s OK.

I have it in prominent position so as I can look at it often. Its not just a momentary flash back into time that I enjoy… but to remember life is made up of moments that are fleeting.

To quote my teen movie hero, Ferris Bueller:

“Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”