pure stream of consciousness

from June 08

puts down book and sighs*

Latin American writers attach magic to the most every day thing. Is that how it is culturally? I should ask ---.

Where are the kids? There’s --- … where’s the girl? There she is. Both are having such fun. I’m so glad I made the decision to slash hours and rearrange schedule until they go off to camp.

Oy. July 20 is around the corner. I’m going to miss them so much. Don’t think about it. Just think about what a grand time they will have at camp. And I think I will go with --- to Napa in August. I will be in such high gear with work and a break will be nice.

Wonder how bad new business development is going to suffer with my withdrawing for nearly two months? Maybe I should go to that reception with --- next week. He always has the best introductions for me. Plus, he’ll flirt with me and tell me how fabulous I am. How is it that Southern men can pull that off and not make you feel like they are hitting on you and expecting sex?

Oh God. I better make sure its not a Republican thing. That last one, I just about died. Never bit my tongue so much in my life.

Can’t believe Bush had actually considered a veto of the new GI Bill. Fucker. The very least we can give those who go to war for us is a college education.

*flips iPod to Jack Johnson and looks at the trees and sky*

You know for suburbia, this ain’t half bad. I miss home a lot but have really gotten used to the trees.

Wonder why more people are facing the parking lot and pool house rather than the trees over there?

*looks at toes*

I like this frosty pink on my toenails. Or would like her red polish better? Wow, my feet are practically hanging off the end of the chaise compared to hers. Isn’t the average height of a woman 5’5”?

*bends knees so foot is 4 inches closer*

So this would be my view if I wasn’t so tall. How strange that is. I wonder if the backs of my thighs have that many dimples when I’m sitting.

*cranes neck trying to see*

I can’t tell. Nor can I exactly say, “hey do I have much cellulite as you do?” I know I don’t have it standing up. Maybe if she stood up… if she doesn’t have it either, then maybe that’s what other people are seeing right now.

I wonder what she is thinking. She’s not once gotten into the pool. Why is that? It is a perfect day for it. Maybe she has a complicated ‘do and is going out tonight. Its shorter so she can’t exactly do the quick pony tail or loose clip thingy.

That was so funny when --- announced the other day that my hair looks best in a ponytail. He’s 8 and a boy for goodness sakes. I wonder why? Maybe its some sort of infant memory?

He used to grab ahold of my pony tail when I was nursing him. He’d stroke it between his thumb and index finger over and over again. Or his little hand would try to find some skin under my shirt. He didn’t want the cloth, he wanted my skin. It would burrow until it found what it wanted.

On the other hand, --- used to do that funny foot wiggle thing when she nursed. What a wonderful time that was. Are my baby days forever behind me? Will the next fat footed toddler padding around my feet be my grandchild?

*looks over at the woman across the way*

Wonder why she has such a frown. Is she one of those people whose “relaxed” face is a frown? Or is she thinking about something that is making her annoyed?

Now that would be an interesting blog to read, just what is floating through a person’s mind when they are sitting somewhere alone. Maybe I should do that. Trick would be to stop right now thinking and jot down everything that just popped through my head that I can remember.

Then again, maybe I’m the only person who’d think it is interesting. And my blog really is an exercise in narcissism, unlike the blogs that are poems, stories or information.

Or should I figure out what I want to make for dinner tonight? There is some trout in the freezer that might be good…